


the way in which she loves

by CapyWritesShit



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Affection, Family Fluff, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love, Platonic Relationships, this is all about adaines capacity to love baby!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:14:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26061004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapyWritesShit/pseuds/CapyWritesShit
Summary: adaine and how she views and uses her love for the people around her
Relationships: Adaine Abernant & Aelwen Abernant, Adaine Abernant & Jawbone O'Shaughnessey, Adaine Abernant & The Bad Kids, Adaine Abernant & Tracker O'Shaughnessey
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	the way in which she loves

adaine loved a lot.

there was so much love bottled up in her body, so much raw emotion that threatened to spill out and over at every waking moment. the love bubbled and boiled red-hot when her friends included her in the conversation, listened to her ideas, looked to her for guidance, trusted her with their lives. she loved so much it burnt her insides, roasted her and laughed at the carnage that was patched up almost immediately when the bad kids proved they loved her back.

when she was little, the love wasn't nearly as forceful. it was small, quiet, like a dull pulsing against her chest with each heartbeat. it was there, present but unobtrusive. her parents would dismiss her for aelwyn and the pulse would skip on itself, quiet even further and die a little bit. she would lose more of it each and every time aelwyn scoffed and sneered, every time her mother rose a judgmental eyebrow and sighed, every time her father made a slight about her panic attacks.

and then adaine went to aguefort. at first, nothing changed much. she got detention and the love huffed and puffed under the pressure in her chest because she just _knew_ aelwyn had set her up, _as always_ , and then she killed a woman with a ladle, and her parents scolded her for not using a _spell_ instead, and the love in her chest almost completely flickered out.

it took surprisingly little time for the love to swell, however, when her friends took to her like moths to a flame. maybe they didn't have a choice at first, the time for choosing adventuring parties long passed, but they never treated her with the same cold and calculating expectations that her family did.

prom came and went, and it was like the love burst forth and filled her. jawbone offered her a home and she started therapy and her friends spent time with her even when there was no adventure to go on or mystery to solve and it hit her all at once that their love was not _conditional_. all her life, she'd been working for the chance to earn her family's love, their affection and attention. with the bad kids, she simply _existed_ and they showered her in the love that'd been absent from her life for so long.

so she became comfortable in the love, the pulsing in her chest that grew to roar when she caught sight of the bad kids or the o'shaughnesseys, all the people she had come to see as her family. she didn't have to perform for them, she didn't have to sit there and wonder if she was _worthy_ of their love, if she had _earned_ it.

sophomore year was the most comfortable in her own skin adaine had ever felt, and it was because the love that flared to life inside of her was welcomed, not pushed aside or belittled. her friends loved her so much and they never hesitated to show it in their own ways. she started cultivating her love, growing it and letting it flourish after so long of being pushed down and ripped apart and left to rot.

taking care of oneself is hard work, but adaine was careful, and strong, and powerful. she took the love inside her chest and turned it into power, into magic, into actions and words and whatever else she could. she used it like a well of untapped potential, a reservoir she hadn't been able to access before the bad kids came into her life, and it was like adaine's capacity for love grew tenfold.

and then suddenly everything in her life was uprooted, because spring break showed her that love was strong, stronger than her parents ever gave it credit for. adaine stored her love and she kept it close to her chest and she used it to spit spells from her lips like acid and weave the strings of fate with her fingers. if there was one thing she knew for certain, in all the chaos and death and _hurt_ , was that her love was strong enough to push her through her tribulations.

aelwyn was the variable in her newfound dependence on love. she loved her sister, loved her with all that she had to give, loved her to the moon and the stars and back again, but that didn't mean that it was easy. loving aelwyn was different from loving the o'shaughnesseys and was different from loving the bad kids.

loving jawbone and tracker was sailing through the sea on a comfy little ship. it was nice and swift and comfortable. the waves were gentle, and the breeze felt good against her skin, and the sky was so blue and bright. loving them was gentle and easy.

loving the bad kids was tearing through the open road with the radio up loud. it was fast paced and exhilarating and loud. the music blared in her ears and her blood ran hot through her cheeks and every single thing outside the car was nothing compared to what was inside.

loving aelwyn was sitting on the roof and watching the stars. silent, still, fragile, yet so, so comforting. the stars were bright and plentiful, but offered no words of wisdom. the roof beneath her was rough and slanted and dangerous. the crickets chirping their melodies were temporary and easily frightened.

loving the o'shaugnesseys was calm and relaxing, loving the bad kids was loud and exciting, but loving aelwyn was soft yet terrifying. it was easy and yet so, so difficult.

but adaine had a reservoir full of love, hoping desperately to be given away. and aelwyn was waiting with open arms, heart empty and healing.

adaine loved so much. she loved in the way she made riz and extra cup of coffee when he slept over, in the way she listened to fig's newest songs, in the way she did homework with gorgug, in the way she practiced sword fighting with fabian, in the way she helped kristen with her laundry. she loved in the way she pushed boggy into aelwyn's hands, or saved tracker some leftovers, or gave jawbone her biggest, warmest hug. adaine had so much love to give, so much affection to push into other people.

for so long, adaine had no where to put her love, and so it filled up her chest and disappeared into air. the pulsing would slow and then stop, and she would be left with nothing. now, though, adaine had so many people to love and so many ways to love and so much love to give that she couldn't handle it. it was almost overwhelming, how much she loved.

and so adaine loved, and continued to love, because she believed that if she could love like this forever, not a single person in the world could stop her.

**Author's Note:**

> this is super rambly because its mostly something i threw together in a rush of emotion without any rhyme or reason to it but i like to think it's still semi-coherent :)
> 
> thank you so much for reading!!
> 
> [tumblr](https://theswirlersisterscircus.tumblr.com)


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